Emily Wassler grew up on the mean streets of Queens, NY. Ok, so she was more in a suburb with a pool in the backyard and a street she could safely go and play stickball til late at night in the summers.
As a child, Emily was always cracking jokes. But usually at the wrong times, like in school. Catholic school. Once a teacher threw an eraser at Emily to shut her up. Emily caught it and threw it back to the teacher,
who couldn't help but laugh and throw herself out the fourth story window. From there Emily knew her true calling. "You mean I can get paid to make people laugh?!" Well, eventually.
In her teens, Emily suffered through some unfortunate haircuts. But thanks to #tbt (ThrowbackThursday) posts, these "hair dont's" from the past have brightened her followers’ Thursdays, reminding them that no matter how bad their day, Emily’s hair sucked for nearly a decade.
At the age of 24 Emily moved from New York to Los Angeles for the hell of it. She was the first person make this long, dangerous trek and not succumb to smallpox or dysentery. She found her way around town using her Thomas Guide, met many people named Thomas and purposely got lost so she would have to find her way home. After two weeks of that, she decided driving around alone was for losers and she made some friends.
During her time here in LA, she has worked for Tribune, Disney and Time Warner Cable working the 9-5 to make money while she figured out what the hell she really wanted to do.
In 2000, just after the Y2K dust had settled and the bodies were being counted, an actor colleague who worked with Emily said "You're really funny. You should do improv comedy." Emily tagged along to the colleague’s class and as she sat and took it all in, the teacher turned to her and asked "Have you ever done improv?" Emily shook her head. Then the teacher said "Well, you're gonna tonight." Excitement, panic and possible bladder control issues overtook poor Emily. She was thrust into the rest of the class and in minutes transformed into a Q-Tip that was engaged in conversation with a bathroom trash bin. New to the rules of improv, Emily asked a TON of questions, yet still had the class laughing. One week later, Emily entered into Level One of LA's Second City improv program.
After quickly getting through two beginner levels, Emily decided to try out for the Conservatory level. Basically it's like attempting to go straight from tee ball to the major leagues, bypassing high school, college, the prison league and AAA in one bold bound.
She made it. And worked with one of the best groups at that time--aptly named "When You're Happy & You Know It". (You just clapped your damn hands, didn’t you, you silly bastard?)
After graduating Second City, Emily wasn't sure of her next move. As Emily was telling a funny story, a friend said "You should do stand-up!" Emily's blood turned cold at the thought of being on stage without the support of a fellow improviser. Alone on stage, with only a microphone? And only 8 liters of blood? And only 3000+ individual strands of hair? And only ONE gall bladder? No, thank you.
But after much thought, Emily accepted the challenge and sought out the advice and counsel of another colleague—this one a stand-up comedian. After putting together a solid seven minutes of some of her best stories, Emily performed her very first stand-up gig in front of a packed audience in the prestigious Pretty, Funny Women line-up at The Comedy Union on August 11, 2002.
Despite knees shaking and mouth drying, Emily pulled it together and killed it. From that moment on, she knew this was what she was supposed to do for the rest of her life. Make. People. Laugh. Not. Murder. Them. And. Assume. Their. Identities.
Emily's stand-up was seen by many in town, including some bigwigs (it's one word, not two...who knew?!) at E! Entertainment Television. Since the Kardashians had not been discovered yet, E! was still looking for something hilarious. After a rockin' show at The Hollywood Improv, Emily was contacted and asked to be a part of "101 Celebrity Slimdowns"...to make fun of others and how they lost weight. Ha! Perfect. And just months before that, Chelsea Handler (a fellow Pretty, Funny Woman) asked Emily to be the "Prison Guard" to her "Martha Stewart" on E!'s "101 Celebrity Oops" in a sketch that made fun of that convict trying to smuggle sugar and butter into her cell. So, Em has been on E!...the network, not the drug.
Over the next ten years, while continuing to work full-time, Emily performed around town. But the best thing that happened to her in this time was when she became an aunt. Having loved kids her whole life (NOT like that, perv), she was the Pied Piper. Emily is able to captivate children of all ages with her "get on their level" mentality. Plus she can juggle and talk like Donald Duck. Owen, Kaitlyn, Sarah, Jack and Andrew are the most important people in Emily's life. (Sorry everyone else...but you be THAT cute and we can talk). She is constantly flying to NY and Chicago to see these knuckleheads. And on one special trip to New York in February 2014, Emily was able to perform her first stand-up gig in her hometown in front of friends and family. To quote her slurring sister, Liz, "You were the best one up there...(hiccup)"
Emily continues to perform around LA at clubs like The Comedy Store, The LA Improv, Laugh Factory, Flappers and Malo. She is currently shopping around her episodic pilot, a comedy based on her life and the truly odd things she encounters on a daily basis. And in December 2014 she was invited to perform at the famed Caroline's On Broadway in NYC.
See her live. You won't regret it. Unless you drink too much at the show, get violent and get arrested. That’s regretful.